Blah

I have been pretty blah for the last couple days. My mom is back in the hospital and once again I can not be there to help her through this. I hate being so far away and that she is stuck in Memphis. Why does this shit have to happen to my mom? When is it going to end? What has caused all of this? These are only some of the questions I have been pondering in my mind. Keeping faith with myself that she is going to get better so far has not worked because she keeps ending up in the damn hospital. I hope that she can come home to California soon and she can start to work on getting better with her mind. She is the smartest woman I know, if she could just get healthy enough she could start making new connections in her brain and maybe I would get my mom back for real. No, no, shes back in the hospital. I am pretty upset if you can't tell, I got my hopes up too high and was wishing that she would just start getting better and she would be home in a couple weeks. Having an end in sight for when she would come home probably got me too comfortable with this whole situation. Maybe I should have gone to Memphis for a third time because I hate being so far away and she is not coming home as of now. Just sitting and waiting is what we are supposed to do, not very reassuring if you ask me. They don't know what the hell is happening, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
On a brighter note, I reached the quarter-century mark last week and had a good time in San Francisco on my birthday. The weekend was ho-hum and I mostly just took it easy. Oh I ran a race on Sunday, Emerald Across the Bay 12k(7.2mi). It was a really rainy day and I was soaked head to toe, but it only took me 49:54, not bad huh? I really want to start running more races, but I am not going to be able to for a while. I am starting training for fire crew in April and will be gone every weekend and just to keep things interesting I am poor again and couldn't afford entry fees into any races anyways. I guess my goal of running a marathon will have to wait another year, but we will see. If I am around for the SF Marathon I may try it, training beforehand of course. I hope I am not around because that would mean I would be fighting fires and making money! It is really weird to hope for forest fires, but I just keep in mind that they are natural... doesn't hurt that we are in a drought. So I'm going to be a teacher and a firefighter, quite a combo if you ask me.
As I prepare to be a teacher, I have to do a lot of work. I am going to have to do this thing called PACT(Performance Assessment for California Teachers) to get my credential. I will probably do about 50 pages of typing throughout the whole process of PACT, not to mention all the typing I am doing this semester. I am actually feeling ok with the idea of PACT right now because it will include a lot of reflection and ways to consider how I can be a better teacher. I think I will always strive to get better at what I am doing. Teaching can become so mundane and boring, but really it should be an exciting thing. Each year I will teach students new things, why should I not learn new things as well? I think having a positive mindset about teaching is very important because being negative just brings you down. When dealing with teenagers I can see how teachers wall up and shutter themselves in their classrooms. Teenagers are not easy to deal with. No one ever said it was going to be easy. I want to reach into kids minds and make them really think about what life is all about. Learning about history is a starting point to understanding the progression of humans on Earth. At such a critical time, students must be prepared in a different way than ever before. Awareness is key, they should be aware of their surroundings and what is going on with them, such that good decisions can be made to make their lives better. I am not sure how all this is going to be accomplished, call me idealistic or whatever, I don't care. I am going to keep pushing on with relentless spirit and determination... I know my mom would want me to.

in a rush

So I am actually in the middle of writing a paper about learning.... woohoo! Procrastinating... Actually I have been honing my skills and working to become the best teacher possible. I have learned many new things and approaches to teaching that I believe will help me in the future. I hope that these things that I have learned are easily applicable to the classroom and that I am able to use some of these strategies when I student teach. My experience has been good so far, observing and subbing at Tamalpais High School. I have been getting to know some of the students which is always a plus. I am going to spend about 6 days at the end of the month subbing for one teacher, so more experience is a plus.
Mom should be out of the hospital today which is the biggest relief ever... I feel strongly that she is on an upward path and is going to progress greatly from here on out.
My birthday is this week, but I can't think about it too much right now because I have to do so much damn school work. After I finish this current paper I get to work on critiquing the California Social Studies Standards... fun. Anyways, it is much easier to type here on a computer than my iphone, but I will update the blog as much as possible.
I think I am going to use my blog as the story of my quest to become a teacher... peace out.

Iphoning

Hey people I just got a new app for my iPhone that let's me update my blog mobilly.